SomethingStore

Through some random searching in the internets, I found a store called The Something Store. It took about 3 seconds for curiosity to get the better of me, but I still did the "responsible thing" and read through all their pages and customer reviews (well, not all the reviews, just enough to decide it was okay to give in). And now: my order from The Something Store has been placed. If it is something kind of silly, it'll make a great gag gift for that someone special. Or maybe it'll be something really cool. Either way, I'll let you know when it arrives.

Even though I have no idea what is coming, this little bit of retail therapy has slightly brightened my day.

A Day as a Tourist

On Tuesday Doug had the day off for Veteran's Day. Instead of doing nothing with the day, we decided that it was time for a trip to the Honolulu Zoo. To make our trip even more fun (at least for us) we decided to act as tourists. Here's what we saw:

First up: Elephants!

Doug wants to go play

So he can read...

I think he is beginning to get agitated over not seeing the lions yet

Look what I can do

Look at all the children - I didn't know there was a display for them!

Just like a good tourist, I stood on the railing to get this shot. Good thing Doug held my belt or I might have fallen in.

I'm supposed to be making an, "Aww, how cute face." He made me do it.

"I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys "R" Us kid...."

This is Doug's joke: What is black and white all over?

ZEBRAS!!

Maybe I was wrong about Doug being able to read...

Where do the animals go when they aren't home in the zoo?

A little teeny tiny antelope. They only weigh about 20 pounds.

I wonder what all the animals make of the humans looking in on them?

This child was beating down the plants with his stick - an example of poor parenting or a child that got loose from his cage?

Oh Rhino

I was able to make getting up on this statue much harder than it needed to be.

Next: We shall conquer the city!

I made him crawl in there with a bunch of little kids...

Hanging out with the fish

It was payback for the face I had to make

And the end of the day souvenir: A squished penny

I'm the Creepy Lady

Well maybe not really. But I did succeed in creeping out an ABC Store (the largest chain of convenience stores on the island) cashier. It was super easy, and I did it all without even trying. Really.

On Sunday Doug and I went to a craft market in Honolulu too look around. Anticipating a lack of parking, we took the bike but also a change of clothes. Upon arriving at the park where the craft market was taking place, I changed into shorts and slippahs. After a couple of hours in the sun, we decided to change locations, and this is where the fun begins.

Instead of going through the trouble of wrapping a towel around myself and changing out of shorts back into jeans in the parking lot, I just pulled my jeans over my shorts. This was to save time, as I thought I would be removing my jeans at the next location to enjoy the comfort of shorts again. In thinking that I would be removing the jeans, I left my wallet and cash in the pockets of my shorts instead of transferring them to the pockets of the jeans. En route to the next location, it was decided that we should visit a local mall instead of the streets of Waikiki, where we would have the added comfort of air conditioning, since it was a rather warm day, even for November.

Once parking at the mall, Doug and I decided that it would be better to just leave our jeans on. After all, while air conditioning is a nice touch to indoor venues, they often have it turned a bit too high, and then I freeze. Of course, at this point I had forgotten that my wallet and cash were still in my shorts. And after being in the sun for a couple of hours, my body was in need of some liquid refreshment. Good thing there was an ABC Store nearby. I walked in to find myself a tasty beverage, and then proceeded to the counter. The nice lady told me how much I owed, I reached into my pockets only to remember that my cash was in the pockets inside my jeans. No worries, I'll just undo my belt and out of the cashier I hear: *gasp* "What are you doing?!"

Duh!! Normal people don't just start undoing their pants to find money, do they?? Haha. I quickly explain that it was okay. I was wearing shorts. I was with my boyfriend on his motorcycle. I put my jeans on over my shorts. It wasn't til I walked out of the store with the drink and receipt in hand that I realized what I had really just done. Lucky for me the friends I was with that day found just as much humor in it as I did.

Something to Squeal Over

Last night this was found in the bathroom:

It's the biggest cockroach I've seen yet, and it made 3 adults shriek and squeal like 12-year-old girls. Lucky for me, I'm not the one that had to go to the bathroom when it was found. What is funny though is that I was the only girl....

Random Foodstuffs

Today I learned that there is some importance in being able to read what it is you are buying before the point of purchase. While at a supermarket in Bratislava, I thought a carton of milk and a couple of pastries would make a wonderful breakfast. However, at the register, the lady wouldn't sell me the pastries because I didn't have the "special code" from the bakery - didn't know I needed this, as everyone else was happily putting what they wanted into bags before just walking away. I thought I should do the same.

The next mistake came in the yogurt/milk isle. At least I thought there was milk there. I picked up a carton of what looked to be like milk, and was able to buy it because it had a barcode. But as I opened the container, I realized that maybe it wasn't milk. Smelled a little sour, and was really thick. Oops. But I couldn't just not try it, so I took a HUGE swig. Ugh. Definitely sour. But maybe it was yogurt, just not sweetened. So I drank some more. After about the second drink, it was getting better, so I decided to drink the whole thing. After all, it was all I had, since I had no "special code" for my pastries.

Once drinking all of the contents, I asked a girl at the register of a McDonald's if she knew what it was in English. They told me sour milk. Just for kicks I thought I would ask another group of kids out on the street. While asking another woman heard me, and stopped to explain what it was I had just consumed. Turns out it is about half milk, and half cream, and soured. Uhhh, not quite milk or yogurt....

Not all is bad though, I had a full belly, and I'm (still) not sick from it. I wonder what I will find to abuse my stomach with in the next place?

Super Onion Breath

A couple of hours ago I took a huge bite out of a thick slice of onion. A nice, pretty white onion. Mostly because I wanted it on my pizza, but it didn't get on there in time. So, bite of pizza, bite of (salted) onion. And now?? Super Onion Breath. I can still taste it. Which would be okay if it were a good onion, but I've had better. Too bad I didn't have a date tonight, that could have been fun. At least for me.

Boozing and Breasts

Sounds like they go good together, doesn't it? Well, get your mind out of the gutter. Today when I was at the doctor she told me that she had read that drinking increases a woman's risk for breast cancer. So when I got home I looked it up. And there are quite a few sites that say that it has been proven. But then there is something else to think about: if drinking increases your risk by 30%, what exactly does that mean? As the same doctor also pointed out, if 1 in 1,000 are likely to die from something and then adding alcohol to the mix makes it 2 in 1,000, than it can be said adding alcohol doubles your risk. But really, do you think you are lucky enough to be that 2 in 1,000? So all these sites need to be put into perspective. Not too many have numbers, but then again, I didn't look too deep either. Maybe for now on this one I will claim ignorance and go have a beer. I hope my breasts don't mind.

Falling Off the Face of the Earth

So kind of last minute like, I packed a backpack and decided I would be heading to Moab when I got off work instead of coming back home. I packed so last minute, I forgot things like deodorant and my comb. Not to worry though, those things can be purchased almost anywhere. Though I packed burnable material, I forgot to pack a lighter. And didn't realize it until I was ready to burn that material. By then I was too lazy to go find one, or matches. Only a couple of people knew I was going, and I didn't think it would really matter since I would only be gone one night. But when I returned today, I had a voicemail, a text message, and a MySpace email all from the same person. I guess when you have a cell phone, people really freak out if you don't return their calls/messages promptly. What will they do when I cancel my service, and go off the grid, only using my Dad's phone when I feel like it (if at all)? Another thing that is slightly odd is that looking at my call log, only the people who said they would call have called in the last week. So usually people don't call me anyways. I really believed that no one would notice if I left town for a night. Suppose I should try it again sometime soon, to see if it was just an accident that it was noticed this time.

Laughing Material

Just as I was about to go crazy from doing entirely too much homework in one day, I came across this in my email inbox:

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

(Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes.. lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...In other words, send it to everyone.