Through some random searching in the internets, I found a store called The Something Store. It took about 3 seconds for curiosity to get the better of me, but I still did the "responsible thing" and read through all their pages and customer reviews (well, not all the reviews, just enough to decide it was okay to give in). And now: my order from The Something Store has been placed. If it is something kind of silly, it'll make a great gag gift for that someone special. Or maybe it'll be something really cool. Either way, I'll let you know when it arrives.
Even though I have no idea what is coming, this little bit of retail therapy has slightly brightened my day.