Saturday, April 28, 2007

Plumbers and Bread

Yesterday afternoon a plumber came and knocked on my door. He did say there was a clog, but did not pin blame (though at this point, it probably was my fault). At least he wasn't creepy, he just asked me not to use the water in my kitchen until he got it cleaned out. Turns out the clog was on the other side of my neighbors drain, so he could have had a part in it too.

My bread turned out great. I had a tuna fish sandwich on it for dinner last night. The only thing I did was use potato water instead of regular water, and the bread has this really nice texture to it. It didn't raise as much as it should have, but I believe that was due to the fact that I didn't let the potato water get all the way to room temperature before dumping it in the machine (I had stored it in the fridge). There is still some left, so I'll try again later this week, as I don't think the current loaf will last long. Last night it proved to be the perfect sandwich bread. I think today I'll have grilled cheese. Mmm.

Friday, April 27, 2007

More Potato Issues

So, after giving up on the potato zit cure (it never worked), I decided that it was time to make real mashed potatoes. After all, my potatoes were starting to grow little plants out of them, and at that point, the only think I think they are good for is a good boil and then a mixing with butter (it has to be real) and milk. Being as lazy as I am, I decided that there was no need to peel the potatoes into the sink, and then scoop them out for the trash can. Instead, I decided that my garbage disposal could use a good grinding, and I shoved them all down. I have been doing this the entire time I have lived in this apartment. About 5 years. But last night was different. My neighbor came by around 9pm to complain. Apparently, my potato skins caused his sink to back up, flooding his apartment. He said "this is the last time this happens" all stern like that would scare me. But really, it just annoys me. This has never happened before (so who is to say it was my fault?) and he was completely wasted (come to think of it, he is always wasted when he knocks on my door). And, if it really was a problem, wouldn't he have been all pissed off? Especially since he was drunk. But no, he was all calm (until he was trying to be stern), and then he walked back down the stairs without another word.

The good news though, is that I still have leftover mashed potatoes (those never go to waste around here), and today I am going to make bread with the potato water. I have never done that before, so I hope it works.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

My Very Own Eating Disorder

When it comes to this, the questions don't arise until after I have already eaten. Mostly they are things like "why did I do that?" or "how can I make it stop hurting?" What did I do? I ate. Entirely too much. Good thing I tend to avoid all-you-can-eat buffets, they would be the end of me. Then again, pretty much all resturaunt food would be. They always serve portions that could feed 3 people, and I usually manage to finish most of it. And then I feel the pain of doing so. Today it has been two hours since I finished, and it still hurts. Some might say that it proves that it is physically possible to eat as much as I did, but I would say that it is borderline possible. Sure, I got all that food in there, but if I move too much, it might just come back out. Or if I got squeezed real hard. I might be like a tube of toothpaste. Only what comes out would not be minty fresh.

Aren't you glad you read this?

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Miss Potato Head

When I woke up this morning I had the great pleasure of finding a new zit forming. I thought these things would be over by now, but apparently not. A friend told me that if I put a small piece of potato on it, that it would draw out all the gunk and heal faster. So now I have a piece of potato, taped to my forhead. At first it was rather annoying, but now I hardly notice it. But the real question is does it work? So far: no. This might be worth not trying again.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Laughing Material

Just as I was about to go crazy from doing entirely too much homework in one day, I came across this in my email inbox:

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.


A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.


(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes.. lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that pig??)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...In other words, send it to everyone.